Dear Friends, This is going to be a long mail,be ready! One week has passed since that Friday. It is a strange feeling now to sit in front of my computer after daily electricity-cut and having my warm coffee. Everything seems as it was a week ago. These few days there were time when I was overwhelmed by fear.
Fear that if nuclear reactor would explode. Fear that if radiation already is spreading around. Fear that if another earthquakes and tsunami would come. My fear was not about the economical situation which is under total confusion now.
I knew one day we are rich,one day we are poor. If we have land where we can grow our food,we can survive. Even trees with some fruits and nuts will be enough. Money was not the priority for me. My fear came from losing this life. And the physical suffer that we all Japanese know by heart....the terrible result of receiving radiation. All the pictures we saw, documentaries, stories that we hear about Hiroshima-Nagasaki from childhood.
We are talking everyday about which level of radiation can cause blood cancer and damage our DNA. And how far it can reach?? Now the residents of 20km around Fukushima nuclear plant are evacuated. but is that enough? I live in Gunma prefecture, where is about 200km south-west of Fukushima. and Tokyo is about 230km from there. it all depends on "luck" let's say. If the wind is blowing toward the ocean,the radiation will not come to damage us. And the radiation will be diluted with distance, poor Americans will receive a bit of it. but if the wind would blow into the other directions,the lee side of the wind would receive the radiation.
My fear was coming from my imaginary-tsunami. I was simulating if,if,if......with the information from many directions about the untold reality of nuclear reactor, my friends from overseas who tell me to leave the country,wondering myself, maybe they know better truth than me, with the knowledge of what this radiation can cause to me, becoming cancer or unable to bear children anymore....
I stopped years ago to eating meat. But I do eat fish. and one day I started to say to myself when I eat fish "thank you,I eat you now. And I accept one day you will eat me" why I say this? Because I feel it's unfair that we human being only can eat them. If I hit somebody, I have to be ready to be hit back by someone else.
Here I come to the point. I deserve all this tragedy now. I was using the electricity produced by this Fukushima nuclear plant. I was eating the fish who was caught in order to come into my mouth. And by buying the fish, I was supporting the fishermen and the port to fish the fish, where they got the hardest damage by this Tsunami. everything come back to us. If I hit, I will be hit back sooner or later. So I knew, I had to accept my death now because of all these facts. And is my life heavier than the ones who are lost in Tsunami? There are more than 15000 dead and missing till today.
So why I shouldn't be dead by now? Receiving radiations and becoming cancer, so what? But still, I wanted to live. That was the reason of my fear. I believe in reincarnation. We were here and we are here and we will be here again (if there will still be earth). What for? In order to learn,to develop our souls. We come back again and again till we don't have to come back to study anymore! Since when I realized it for myself, life became much easier and happier. And relieved me. I am here not for wanting something better always like money or status or mateials. But for brushing up our souls until it will shine like a crystal. And there are millions of potential diamond everywhere on earth!! I felt I found the island of treasure! so whether I would be dead or I would survive and becoming cancer or suffer for...anything is not the matter. The matter is how we are. And how our soul lives.
Since few days ago every night we started to gather between friends and talk about the situation. And to look at it in many perspectives. We all are agree that we have to make change. And this disaster is helping us to make us change by force. But in a positive way. It is a ultimate positive way that this time being here is a gift. We are forced to face with fear. It is very strong power. And we are very easily controlled by this fear. There are people here that started to be in panic by this fear. And me too, I wasn't able to get out of my sorrow maybe you could feel from my mails.
but now, I feel good. I am not in sorrow. I believe we are in a time of transformation. If we all can transform from potential diamond to a real diamond....here,the planet earth would be the paradise. Maybe I made you worry with this mail, but please try to resonate with hope and love. Not with fear. And when I would feel I need to run away, I will. Don't worry!
Here I have good friends and good vibration. Thank you for reading this long mail with love and peace inside
and we will be praying every night at 21h in japan,please join us.